Today's the day that my oldest daughter gets braces. It's a right of passage, a status symbol, a symbol of upward mobility. Another milestone just like this picture when she lost her first tooth. My baby is gorgeous, but she has my teeth, too many teeth, not enough space. So...this morning she goes to my favorite Orthodontist, Dr. Ronald B. Carmen (shameless plug) to get her grill fixed.
Also today, most of you are reading my blog for the first time since June 2006. Can you believe it's been that long? I'm still working on most of the issues that I was working on then. If you want to refresh and then catch up the blog is still published at tanikka.blogspot.com. I read the archives today and was surprised at how I could have written any of those blogs yesterday or last week. I'm also blogging again at blogspot under blackgirlsong.blogspot.com. The more things change the more they stay the same. I still struggle with my relationship with my father, and I'm still also shocked and awed that I am the Mother of FIVE!!!! Most of all, I'm extremely happy with my life. I'm happy with my character, my personality, and my determination. I know I am somebody! LOL. No, seriously, the pain that I've endured since graduating from law school, getting divorced, getting pregnant with twins, having premature twins, to becoming a single mom of five has been challenging yet so rewarding. I've gotten down to the raw of what was really going on with me. I have had to have this difficult period of abstinence to really evaluate how I feel about myself when I'm not with a man. I'd been a serial monogamist since I was 15 years old. That's a long time to NEVER have been without someone (even a homey lover friend, crush, long distance boyfriend, friends boyfriends friend, SOMETHING!) No, now it's just me being me, living for me, getting in shape for me, going back to school for me, crossing these mountains and obstacles, just for me. I'm the prize I've been searching for all this time! I've gotten in touch with the pain that was driving me unconsciously, to self-destruct. I've let go of controlling EVERY aspect of my life and realized that's what faith is for. In exchange for all the things I've let go of, I have gained insight and perspective which I know will help others. I've also gained strength and determination to persevere no matter how challenging the situation may appear to be. There are still many unanswered questions and still many things that I still intend to accomplish. But I'm climbing these mountains one step at a time.
I watched one of my favorite movies "Love Jones" last night. I was overwhelmed with how D (Larenz Tate) accomplished writing his book.For him the struggle was in writing. For me the writing comes easy- it's the finished product that has always alluded me. I look back and wonder how I finished college (thanks Mr. Mamiya!) I'm replacing my quitter spirit with a can do spirit...
Which leads me to my third topic- Barack Obama. If he wasn't married, I'd seriously be in love with Mr. Obama, but I respect Michelle. I'm so attracted to an intellectual, with all that insight and compassion. I know a few men like that (Oba and Dwayne) but they are few and far between. Anyway, I really thought I was at the point where I didn't have any more fresh tears of emotion to cry for Obama. That was until I saw a video today that had me bawling. I am so overwhelmed. At least four of my friends sent me this video (thanks Angie, Shamar, Tamar, Aunt Debbie). Watch it and weep, and then go out and vote and do your part to change the world....www.dipdive.com One Love, Nique aka Tanikka aka Red Letter
2 comments:
Nice blog my sista.
I like the Obama video on dipdive.com--YES WE CAN, it's very creative, and strikes a cord deep within. I surely hope Obama wins the nomination, if he doesn't his existence and involvement alone should be a catalyst for young African Americans to know they do have a chance.
Many blacks still argue that Obama does not understand the struggle of the African-American experience because his mother was white and father from the motherland. I would submit that despite his heritage he is still seen as a black male in America that alone is enough to contend with, that alone should galvanize those of similar experiences to show their support.
Every time I see Obama doing his "thing" I think of the Trans-Atlantic slave trade, I think of 400 plus yrs of government instituted captivity, I think of Martin and Malcolm, Dubois and Booker T. and all who fought and died for us to have a chance.
Lastly--I can't help but consider that they(slave-owners--the real founding fathers) never intended for us to be anything but slaves, so the fact that "we" have a chance at the highest seat in the land bothers a lot of good 'ol boys and their descendants. Everything seems to be going great for Obama, he is perceived as everyone’s president... however it would be erroneous for us to not consider that there is still an element of displeasure and discontent among those who hold on to the old ways or "old" philosophy of those who had the slaves and the Bible. Because of this, I truly believe there will be an attempt to take Obama's life or family. We as a people, as a nation need to be ready for the potential after effects of what such an attempt can bring. It would be like someone drinking gasoline then swallowing hot coals…self destruction.
Peace
I agree with everything you said and pray daily for Obama's life and protection for his family. I worry that just as with Martin, we will not know how to "go on" so to speak...There are Obama's all over- like yourself- and I hope this move for change will draw them out and give them the courage to go hard in the paint. Thank you for your insightful and informative comments (my first response!LOL)
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