Understanding Love

I've given a lot of thought about my posting about love and life. This morning I was reading the Word and I came across an essay by T.D. Jakes (this is the excellent "Woman Thou Art Loosed" edition Bible, seriously there is such a thing). Anyway, there was this quote that just stood out to me and gave me insight into the difficulties I have with men, love and relationships.

"Don't become bitter as you rummage through relationships, looking for divine love from human hearts. If you are to love a man, understand that he is a man."

In other words, we will never be satisfied looking to man for the fufillment that can only come from God. I've heard people say this in many different terms, like, you must be a whole person before you can be in a healthy relationship; it's when you aren't looking for anyone that you find the "one;" get busy doing what you love and love will find you, etc. All those adages sound good, but what about that ache in the pit of your stomach when you are alone that's not there when you are with someone, (or when you eat your favorite food, smoke, drink, go out, shop, whatever your thing is). That is only a cheap, imitation copy of what can really fill us. And even more, bad relationships, casual sex, comfort foods, smoking, drinking, shopping, they are all bad for us when done compulsively. The feeling isn't sustainable.

So, we can settle for a short term fix, a short term high, or we can fight like the dickens for something lasting, something tangible, something we can pass down to our children. That's what a real relationship with Christ is like. It's not religion, or belonging, it's knowing that we are loved unconditionally and that we were created for a purpose and that our lives have meaning. As we understand that we are loved unconditionally and accepted for who we are, no matter what we have done, we are more readily available to love others. We open our hearts to have empathy for those who are hurting like we once were hurting. And like Sojourner Truth and Harriet Tubman, we are liberated by liberating others. That's what my blog is all about. Finding myself while hopefully helping you find a part of yourself. That's why I love to write. A chinese proverb says, "I write and I understand." I'm understanding love.