Today's the day that my oldest daughter gets braces. It's a right of passage, a status symbol, a symbol of upward mobility. Another milestone just like this picture when she lost her first tooth. My baby is gorgeous, but she has my teeth, too many teeth, not enough space. So...this morning she goes to my favorite Orthodontist, Dr. Ronald B. Carmen (shameless plug) to get her grill fixed.
Also today, most of you are reading my blog for the first time since June 2006. Can you believe it's been that long? I'm still working on most of the issues that I was working on then. If you want to refresh and then catch up the blog is still published at tanikka.blogspot.com. I read the archives today and was surprised at how I could have written any of those blogs yesterday or last week. I'm also blogging again at blogspot under blackgirlsong.blogspot.com. The more things change the more they stay the same. I still struggle with my relationship with my father, and I'm still also shocked and awed that I am the Mother of FIVE!!!! Most of all, I'm extremely happy with my life. I'm happy with my character, my personality, and my determination. I know I am somebody! LOL. No, seriously, the pain that I've endured since graduating from law school, getting divorced, getting pregnant with twins, having premature twins, to becoming a single mom of five has been challenging yet so rewarding. I've gotten down to the raw of what was really going on with me. I have had to have this difficult period of abstinence to really evaluate how I feel about myself when I'm not with a man. I'd been a serial monogamist since I was 15 years old. That's a long time to NEVER have been without someone (even a homey lover friend, crush, long distance boyfriend, friends boyfriends friend, SOMETHING!) No, now it's just me being me, living for me, getting in shape for me, going back to school for me, crossing these mountains and obstacles, just for me. I'm the prize I've been searching for all this time! I've gotten in touch with the pain that was driving me unconsciously, to self-destruct. I've let go of controlling EVERY aspect of my life and realized that's what faith is for. In exchange for all the things I've let go of, I have gained insight and perspective which I know will help others. I've also gained strength and determination to persevere no matter how challenging the situation may appear to be. There are still many unanswered questions and still many things that I still intend to accomplish. But I'm climbing these mountains one step at a time.
I watched one of my favorite movies "Love Jones" last night. I was overwhelmed with how D (Larenz Tate) accomplished writing his book.For him the struggle was in writing. For me the writing comes easy- it's the finished product that has always alluded me. I look back and wonder how I finished college (thanks Mr. Mamiya!) I'm replacing my quitter spirit with a can do spirit...
Which leads me to my third topic- Barack Obama. If he wasn't married, I'd seriously be in love with Mr. Obama, but I respect Michelle. I'm so attracted to an intellectual, with all that insight and compassion. I know a few men like that (Oba and Dwayne) but they are few and far between. Anyway, I really thought I was at the point where I didn't have any more fresh tears of emotion to cry for Obama. That was until I saw a video today that had me bawling. I am so overwhelmed. At least four of my friends sent me this video (thanks Angie, Shamar, Tamar, Aunt Debbie). Watch it and weep, and then go out and vote and do your part to change the world....www.dipdive.com One Love, Nique aka Tanikka aka Red Letter
